I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Two words: nipple clamps
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