yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
