I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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