Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
