this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
