Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My vagina is very pro this idea
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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