you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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