To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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