u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
