She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
