Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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