Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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