Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
