I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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