I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
