she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
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