I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
is wine microwaveable?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize