As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
