I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize