what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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