There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I smell like Dick and happiness
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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