i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
