No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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