When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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