that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize