Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
