You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
