Pappa wants mamma naked
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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