We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
