I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
