That's intense
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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