If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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