I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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