Porn is love you can see.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
