dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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