Plan B is the new Plan A
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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