Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
this just has baby written all over it
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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