they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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