More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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