we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
