I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
