I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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