I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So apparently I’m into choking now
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