bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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