Can i not drive my cunt home
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
