How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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