Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
it glows. i had to have it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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