if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The adults are the big ones right?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
