like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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