Got a toothbrush?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
