Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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