The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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