even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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