I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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