We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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