So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
