Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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