1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Congratulations! We have a period
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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