im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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