You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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