After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
