she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
