went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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