We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
